Living in an Anxious World

 Living in an anxious world.   From the time I could remember I have been anxious. Worried. Stressed. My mind could go from      to    in a matter of seconds. I could take any peaceful situation and find that worst case scenario. I can remember as a little girl chasing my parents up the street in my night gown as they headed out for the evening for date night. I knew in my anxious little mind that I would never see them again. Convinced that they would be involved in an accident. I never thought I would live long enough to be a mom. I remember one night I was so convinced that I would not live through the night. It took all my strength just to get across the hall. One time as I went away for a dance camp I called home panicked and terrified. Received a blessing to calm down. I was in college. Tonight as we were going to run Trase down to get tacos. I wanted to stay home and do some tidying up. In a matter of seconds my mind went from if I don’t go...

  Kassi, I’m so sorry this has taken me so long to get back to you. After listening to that song, I wanted to make sure I had the time to try to express all the emotions that it brought up for me . . . Pure and Utter Love, Absolute Awe, Tears of heartache at the thought of you hurting, Proud mom who could not possibly be prouder of her daughter to name a few. I now know why I kept feeling like telling you to listen to Elder Hollands talk. Particularly the last half.   It’s like our patriarchal blessings - every time I listen to it, there are more words of great wisdom. I don’t want to say much about because I believe you will get out of it what Heavenly Father wants you to but know that without a doubt He has forgiven you. I love the scripture where God says “Behold he who has repented of his sins the same is forgiven and I the Lord remember them no more.” “ God doesn’t care nearly as much about where we have been as he does about where we are and with His help where...

  I’m so sorry this has taken me so long to get back to you. After listening to that song, I wanted to make sure I had the time to try to express all the emotions that it brought up for me . . . Pure and Utter Love, Absolute awe, tears of heartache at the thought of you hurting, proud mom who could not possibly be prouder of her daughter to name a few. I now know why I kept feeling like telling you to listen to Elder Hollands talk. Particularly the last half.   It’s like our patriarchal blessings - every time I listen to it, there are more words of great wisdom. I don’t want to say much about because I believe you will get out of it what Heavenly Father wants you to but know that without a doubt He has forgiven you. I love the scripture where God says “Behold he who has repented of his sins the same is forgiven and I the Lord remember them no more.” “God doesn’t care nearly as much about where we have been as he does about where we are and with His help where we are wi...

  Date: July 18, 2019 at 10:19:23 PM MDT To: Stacy Email <peterfam2@centurylink.net> Subject: Journey Hi Angel, Do you still want me to send feelings and where I am at today?  To give me reflective questions? If so here it is: I really thought it was just Christmas but it turns out it is any holiday. I hate them!!!  The pressure, the energy required, the thoughtful gifts that I use to be so good at and now not at all!  The cooking, the planning. All I want is to have a close family so you would think I would love holidays. Maybe it’s the fact we have to have two of everything. One for ty and lace and one for Tav and Britt. I just really hate it all. I have noticed that I get easily over whelmed now. Way more than I use to.  Over whelm = head aches and shut down. With Christmas-Easter it’s all about balance. Trying to balance what can afford and making it nice and bombing it nearly every time. With Mother’s Day it’s do I give my daughters In l...

  Dearest Kassi, I just had to let you know how much I love and adore you.   I know without a doubt you were specially chosen for our family. Ever since you were born you brought a light that can’t be dimmed.   You are here for a reason. You have a mission that only you can achieve.   Don’t be hard on yourself.   Continue to lean on Him and get to know Him. He will always be there. Trust Him.   This is something that somewhere along the way I strayed from, feeling I had more control of the situation if I did it my way.   Learning to trust Him again has come with more peace and success than I could have ever experienced in a lifetime on my own. Things tend to fall into place, situations work out better than I could have ever hoped for or imagined.   It doesn’t mean it comes without challenges but the peace and rewards are there.   The more I trust Him the more I am able to recognize them. Experiencing the opposite effect has also helped make...